A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Mark Twain
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910)

I went to see ‘The Queen’ ages ago and I’ve been meaning to put up a post about it for a couple of weeks. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I went to see this film. I’m pretty much indifferent to the Royal family and I wasn’t a big fan of Diana either but I had heard that Helen Mirren’s performance was excellent which was what spurred me on to see the film. Overall I enjoyed the film and found it quite interesting although at times it felt a bit odd as parts of the film contained actual footage that I had seen on Sky News at the time of Diana’s death. It was interesting to see a view of the reaction of different members of the royal family to Diana’s death. I felt kind of sorry for the Queen, she seemed bewildered by the outpouring of grief when Diana died and couldn’t understand why people were not employing the British ‘stiff upper lip’ attitude. The film wasn’t all about Diana’s death although it was set around that time. It showed Queen Elizabeth II as a very resilient person with a strong sense of duty. It also gave some background into her everyday life and even referred to her days before she was Queen when she was a driver/mechanic during World War II. The film was very well cast and Helen Mirren gave an outstanding performance as Queen Elizabeth II.

Cadburys have brought out a new bar of chocolate. I bought it by accident to accompany my coffee during a battle with the three o’clock slump. I thought I was purchasing a mint crisp but I wasn’t too upset by my blunder because I like coconut and love chocolate. After eating the bar, which I enjoyed, I’d probably give it a seven out of ten. It sort of reminded me of a luxurious version of the macaroon bars that I was semi addicted to when I was eight. I think they came in a white wrapper with green designs on it and they cost about 10p. I’m not a big fan of the name ‘Coconut Rough’; it doesn’t really conjure up yummy chocolate images. It sort of makes me think of chewing on coconut shells. If anyone from Cadburys sees this little post I’d advise a name change for this bar, pronto! How about ‘Coconut Crunch’ instead, it has nice alliteration without sounding like you are going to be eating the equivalent of a brillo pad. :-)

A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world.

Edmond de Goncourt
French artist & novelist (1822 - 1896)

My sister’s car is out of action at the moment so I’m dropping her to work. I’m a relatively calm person overall but when I get into a car that calmness seems to disappear. Yesterday morning on the way to work my sister informed me, after I had yelled abuse at a car in front of me that she was thinking about getting me a voucher for Christmas. So I excitedly asked, ‘What kind of a voucher?’ thinking about how great it would be to stroll into HMV with a voucher in hand. Then she turned to me and said ‘A voucher for Anger Management classes’. Suddenly all thoughts of HMV disappeared and I realised that I am kind of angry in the car. I don’t have a very long drive to work but there were several car/traffic related incidents that made me cross yesterday morning. Maybe it was the guy that parked his car in the middle of a busy traffic lane at 8.45am in the morning that made me cross. On the other hand it could have been the guy who couldn’t decide which lane he wanted to be in as we were approaching a green light and took so long deciding that the light had turned red before he had finally made up his mind. Of course there is always the possibility that I am just a bit mental when I get into a car. :-)

My mobile phone has been a bit dire recently. I can make about three phone calls during the day before the battery starts protesting and the phone just dies. I was in town on Saturday with Ratgirl and decided that I would pop into an O2 shop to ‘have a look’. I was in the shop for about five minutes before I decided that I might as well just buy a new phone. Needless to say I picked one that doesn’t have a camera or web access or any of that other stuff that I don’t want or need. I brought the phone home with me in its shiny new bag and then I moved into my sister’s house the following day and the phone is still in its shiny new bag. I think I might have some sort of attachment disorder and I’ll have to gradually wean myself off my old phone which I’m still using. I suppose the word using is a bit strong, I carry it around with me and when the battery goes to two bars I generally turn it off and only use it for emergencies. On the plus side when I start using the new phone Ratgirl can no longer give out to me about not using predictive text. I believe that was the deal – I buy a new phone but I get to keep my status as a non-predictive text person. :-)

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Ogden Nash
US humorist & poet (1902 - 1971)

I’m not a big hip hop fan but I like some hip hop artists like ‘The Roots’, ‘Lucy Pearl’ and ‘Erykah Badu’. Even though I’ve never consciously listened to Public Enemy I went to see them in the Savoy last night and it was an educational experience. I learned the following things:

1. It is very important to ‘MAKE SOME NOISE’
2. I live in ‘Cork, Ireland’ not just Cork
3. Mr. George W. Bush, Mr. Dick Cheney and Mr. Tony (Who) Blair are not popular gentlemen
4. I have ‘The Power’
5. Make Love, Fuck War
6. The Revolution is here or it’s coming (I’m not a 100% clear on that one)

Public Enemy definitely put on a show. They had a drummer, a guitarist, a bass guitarist and a DJ who each performed a bit of a solo piece during the show. The DJ was excellent and provided good back up the 3-4 guys rapping on stage. They also had two guys with samurai swords on the stage representing S1W (Security of the First World). I thought that these guys would do more, but other than occasionally looking like they would chop someone’s head off with a samurai sword and insuring that Flavor Flav didn’t get carried off to the back of the Savoy when he dived off the stage, they just stood there like two statues. Chuck D and Flavor Flav were good at getting the crowd going and they played some decent stuff. I might just have to invest in one or two Public Enemy CDs.

I went to see the film ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ recently and I have to say that I laughed my ass off. It has been a long time since a film has made me laugh so much. Little Miss Sunshine is the story of a dysfunctional family that go on a road trip to a beauty pageant. Greg Kinnear plays the father of the family. He is a failed motivational speaker and at the start of the film all I wanted to do was clobber him because he kept coming out with crap. Toni Collette does a good job as a stressed out mother and Steve Carell is brilliant as her suicidal brother. I loved the surly teenage son, Dwayne, played by Paul Dano and the little girl played by Abigail Breslin was excellent. All in all if you like quirky humour then this could be the film for you.

The Cork Film Festival opened on Sunday night and runs until next Sunday (15th Oct). There are lots of good films on. You can buy tickets on line or at the booking office situated near the now closed Capital Cinema. There are galas on every night for the rest of the week.
Tuesday: Hollywoodland -- Wednesday: Ten Canoes
Thursday: Red Road -- Gala At The Gate: A Good Year (Friday night)
Friday: The Page Turner -- Saturday: The Namesake
Closing Gala: Marie Antoinette (Sunday night)

If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years.

Bertrand Russell
British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 - 1970)

It was an ordinary morning. I dragged myself out of bed and got ready for work. Then I hopped into my little Festy and proceeded to enact the morning ritual of crossing three lanes to get into my lane. In the middle of this tricky manoeuvre a guy beeped at me (nothing unusual there) then he rolled down his window and pointed at my front wheel and said ‘I think you have a flat tyre’. This is when the sinking feeling in my stomach started. I moved the car to the side of the road and jumped out. Sure enough the tyre was as flat as a pancake. My first reaction was to open the boot and search for the spare tyre unfortunately I drew a blank there. My second instinctive reaction was to ring my Dad (the source of all knowledge about practical and useful things) to enquire about the absent spare tyre. He informed me that it was probably under the car and could be released by loosening a bolt in the boot of the car. So I duly looked under the car and saw the spare tyre. I also located the bolt in the boot which I needed to loosen in order to release the spare tyre but alas how was I going to do this?

I imagine that it was the utterly puzzled look on my face and the wandering hopelessly around that car that tipped off a passing truck driver that I hadn’t a clue what I was doing. He parked his truck ahead of my car and came over to ask me if I needed a hand. I agreed immediately that I did indeed need help and I explained about the spare tyre under the car but I didn’t know how I was going to release it. He took one look in the boot and pulled out a jack and wrench which were secured behind some felt carpet in the side panel of the boot. To be honest I didn’t know they were there (even though I’ve had the car almost two years) but I sort of hope that I would have found them eventually myself if he hadn’t turned up. :-) To cut a long story short he changed the flat tyre in no time, including pumping up my slightly flat spare tyre from his own truck (how jammy was that!), and was on his way in a flash barely allowing me to shake his hand and say thank you.

Being on the receiving end of kindness did not stop there. When I took the car to a local garage to fix the flat tyre they refused to charge me because it was a minor problem. So a day that started out looking like it was going to be a pure disaster ended with me driving home in a car with four lovely plump tyres and a better opinion of mankind. The only thing I need to do now is find a car maintenance course so that I can tackle a flat tyre with ease and confidence the next time I’m that situation.